Can't Suck the Heads Anymore?

Please note that the following is a Parody intended for April Fools Day 2009.

In a bizarre press conference on Tuesday, Louisiana Governor Bobby  Jindal announced that he has instructed the State Attorney General's office to begin enforcing Louisiana code 14:89, a controversial law that prohibits consensual "unnatural carnal copulation by a human being with another of the same sex or opposite sex or with an animal." Opponents view the measure as a purely political move to garner future votes in Red states, but Jindal argues that the time has come for Louisiana to "rid itself from the shackles of shame.  For too long, Louisiana has allowed sex to be its sales pitch." He added that he could "no longer sit on the sidelines and allow our great state to tolerate indecent behavior.  It's time that the good people of Lousiana starting setting the example for the rest of the country."

When John Wortham of the Acadian Gazette asked the Governor how he intended to enforce the measure, Jindal explained that he had already issued zero tolerance guidelines.  Known in reporting circles for his wit just as much as his illustrious career in journalism, Wortham responded by asking the Governor if he intended to enforce the law with respect to "sucking the heads of crawfish."  With that came a roar of laughter from everyone in the press room - that is, everyone but Jindal.  With a straight face, the Governor replied that "If that's where it has to start, then so be it," effectively outlawing the timeless tradition of "sucking the head" of Crawfish, which Cajuns do in order to savor the juices from the crawfish boil.    Yes, he really went that far.

All day afterwards, critics and crawfish fans alike blasted Jindal for his blatant misuse of an obscure and outdated state law.  Louisiana code 14:89 was unsuccessfully challenged in 2000, when the Louisiana Supreme Court ruled that it did not constitute an invasion of privacy. This, Jindal says, is the reason why he can apply it to all actions prohibited by the law, even those seemingly as innocent as sucking on a crawfish head. 

We agree that Mr. Jindal is perhaps taking his new powers too far. Sucking the juices from the crawfish head is a time honored tradition here in Louisiana, and we believe that this infringes on our rights. What do you think, Louisiana? Click here to let the Governor's office know what you think!